← back to the main page


The crippling silence

Posted in World building

I stood in silent horror as everything was shattering into pieces. I don’t mean the glass or wood or metal started to disintegrate, but the whole fabric of the universe was shattering, leaving a depressing emptiness, which was vast and infinite, but at the same time it was tiny and claustrophobic. Everything slowed down and eventually came to a complete stop. The shattering of the world around me paused moments before the empty void consumed me, the progression of time simply vanished. This was supposed to be the end. I was to fade away as well. I was ready.

Alas, the way to oblivion wasn't as peaceful as I'd hoped.I could feel my own mind fighting the inevitable. Illusions started appearing, replacing the emptiness around me. They were so vivid - visions of the past, present and future - all mocking my sacrifice calling it cowardice. "No!" I tried to should but it was in vain, whatever part of me that used to voice my inner thoughts was gone already. Was this to be my faith, not to disappear. My reward was not peaceful eternal oblivion - it was this endless torment.

I saw my father, I saw my mother, I saw my friends, I saw everybody that my life has touched. They were grim specters, but no voices came from them. Their silent gazes were enough of a torture. Even then I was still fading away, their faces slowly started to appear foreign and soon I did not care about them, nor anybody. This change was liberating. I sensed my own mind slipping away - all the unessential memories - my extended identity - until at last only the core of me was left - nameless before the void. But it wasn't the same frightening emptiness. It was a canvas of endless possibilities on which the fragments of the universe to which I used to be bound were painting a picture of time, branching into the infinite, covering the whole of existence. Yet I was beyond that now. I reached out to a single moment. The shard of time resonated and the experience rushed into my understanding. It was unpleasant - it was the life time of a woman that lived far into the future of when I was expelled from the universe. Her story was a tragic one. I reached out again and instinctively tried to shape this single insignificant life. I only made it worse. The rush of new bad experiences rushed and filled me. This changed my perspective. I reached for another moment, a bigger moment. I tried to shape it as well. The moment simply broke under the pressure of my will.

At that moment I felt that other presence. It brushed against the edges of my senses like calm water. Until then I hadn't realized that I was developing a deep anger but this new experience was soothing it. This entity was harmonious but there was also a great pain hidden behind its benevolent touch. As my anger subsided the landscape around me changed. I gathered myself into a singular form and so did the other presence. We stood against each other - both undefined creatures. The other entity made a peaceful gesture. Then we touched and I started to understand.

My sacrifice will not be in vain...!